Old woman popping a wheelie on a Kawasaki 900Why I left Yarra Glen

The walk into the town of Yarra Glen this particular day in 2018 was a little weird. I noticed that a person was riding a purple motorcycle quite slowly along the road towards me. The rider was soon to change this; the engine revved up wildly, and what turned out to be a Kawasaki 900, reared up on the back wheel at an angle of about 60 degrees and roared forward in a magnificent wheelie. The rider continued past at speed before lowering the front wheel to the ground, slowing; and then performed a tire-smoking half-donut turn.

The motorcycle returned towards me before slowing again. The motorcyclist took their hands off the handlebars, and pulled up on the t-shirt being worn to reveal a pair of sagging and wrinkled breasts that belonged to an old woman! The shock of this made me take a dramatic leap back, and I exclaimed: “What the…!”. The old woman cackled at me and shouted: “Do you want a root!” I was stunned and didn’t know what to say; I was so shocked and intimidated by the woman’s sexual advances I took off and ran back home.

The shock soon turned to anger because I was trying to live as a monk, and the thought of someone treating me like a sex object made my blood boil. I was so upset at this I packed up all of my things and left Yarra Glen and found somewhere else to live.

Bert Ernie