Abandoned to the wolves

The story behind Abandoned to the wolves

In 2021 I woke from another intense nightmare. This was another brutal session of intense psychological torture where I was left in tears after waking from the most vivid and horrifying violence.

It started with me getting into an argument with someone I knew. Let’s call this person the Persian Princess. The argument isn’t that bad, just a few angry words. The Princess storms off and leaves the oasis in the middle of the night. The following days, weeks and months are filled with dread – I wonder what I could have said that was so upsetting to my dear friend that made her leave the oasis, and me, all alone.

The oasis soon dries up, so I decide to make the perilous journey across the desert to simply just find some shelter. The trek across the sand dunes is brutally hot and after some period of time I lose all sense of my mental faculties and go completely mad. I spend most of a day in the intense heat screaming out the lyrics for a number of songs from Fearless Iranians From Hell (Die for Allah album). Nobody hears me and after a while my voice fails me and I collapse in the intense heat.

I eventually come to find myself awake, lying on the cool sands of the desert in the middle of the night. I rise to my feet unsteadily and begin walking to what I can see on the horizon – another oasis. After a small period of time I start to see that this oasis is quite real and it calls me ever closer to paradise. When I get within a dozen strides from the edge I stop dead in my tracks. An incredible sense of foreboding is emanating from the oasis. Not a sound is to be heard. Completely numb at the growing inexplicable sense of horror I just stand there, like an idiot, frozen by fear.

“Bert, I told you to stay away”, the voice of the Persian Princess. I can’t see her but I can hear her voice crystal clear. I am both happy and terrified and begin to ask a series of questions “Why did you leave? Why?” Every time I ask, I receive only one reply “Stay away”.

“Bert, I told you to stay away”, the voice of the Persian Princess. I can’t see her but I can hear her voice crystal clear. I am both happy and terrified and begin to ask a series of questions “Why did you leave? Why?” Every time I ask, I receive only one reply “Stay away”.

I fall down into the sand sobbing maniacally. After some time; I begin to hear something above the silence. I slowly raise my head, my tear streaked face is filthy dirty from my time alone in the desert. To my horror I can make out a pack of large and powerful wolves who are snapping and snarling at me. They appear to be unable to move beyond the edge of the Oasis. I rise to my feet. Then the wolves move a few steps closer, and pause, waiting to see my next move. Absolutely terrified I turn and run, I throw every ounce of effort into evading the pack of wolves. I would get brought face down in the sand by a singular attacker who snaps and bites with powerful jaws, but manage to fight them off with kicks, punches and eye-gouges; running again, only to be brought down by another wolf. This cycle continues for several minutes, each time I am unable to run as fast, the number of wolves attacking increases and I get more and more dismembered.

The final scene is the Persian Princess, standing over me, having called the pack of wolves to heel. As I lay there in the hot sun, caked in dirt and blood, with gaping wounds and pieces of own flesh scattered about me I hear her say. “Fuck you. I hope you die!”

End of nightmare.

Bert Ernie

Detail views of abstract painting Abandoned to the wolves