The king is a fink is an abstract painting about the time I was arrested for fighting the king of the United States of America.
It is an acrylic painting on MDF board.
The dimensions are of the actual artwork are 90cmx60cmx1cm.
It is sold unframed.


The story behind The king is a fink

At 2 a.m. I was dragged out of my bed by a dozen secret service police officers and placed under arrest. Thrown into the back of a 1974 Chevy van hand-cuffed I was forced to endure a wild ride as the driver deliberately drove in a careless manner. This was to rough me up.

The reason – because the day before I had shouted very loudly that the “king is a fink!”

Looking like I had been through a tornado, covered in bruises from head to toe, I was yanked out of the van. Two burly secret service agents then proceeded to march me up to the throne room of the king of the United States of America. 

I was kicking at my captors, cursing a stream of insults when I was unceremoniously dumped before the feet of the fake king. An agent quickly removed the hand cuffs. As I gradually began to lift myself into my feet I took a quick look around the room. There were around two dozen of the kings closest advisers, all of them stood quietly with a smirk on their face. They stared at me – the usurper.

“So this is the anarchist!” spoke the king in a mocking tone.
I turned to face him. He was old, wrinkled and strangely glowed a bright orange, except around the eyes, which were pale pink. His toupee sat on his head half-cocked and yet he seemed oblivious to how he looked like a sad clown. A mad, sad deranged king.

I took a deep breath, before I answered. “Yes this is the anarchist who dared to curse the o’mighty king. The man who challenges your authority.” I paused before offering “And I challenge you to a fight!”

The kings eyes squinted, he looked at me, then looked to his left and right at his key advisers. I saw several generals give a quick nod. 
The king rose from his thrown, throwing his elegant but robe to the ground. 
“I accept your challenge!” he shouted.

He lunged at me and just as he came close I side stepped him. Hey cursed and turned to face me. He lunged again, his face turning red with fury. As he got within striking distance I dropped into a squat with incredible speed. Just as he went to strike his feeble punch missed, I had ducked underneath him and then with a great explosion upwards I came up and threw him into a judo throw which had the silly fat king tumbling ten feet through the air.

Just as quick I turned behind me to see him land heavily on the floor. His body was just like a rubber balloon, it squished up on landing before bouncing up in the air. And just like that it made a huge POP! The orange king flew wildly around the room making a farting sound as the rubber ball lost air. At the same time it dropped a tiny little baby softly onto the floor.

A gasp arose from everyone (including me) in the throne room. These events of a few seconds were absolutely incredible. Nothing like this had ever been seen before. As the orange popped balloon finally landed fifty foot behind the throne we all looked to the little infant who sat on the floor with a look on his face of amusement. 
“Ooh ahhh ahhh haaaa” the little baby boy sounded. Then his little angelic face squinted and made another different face. And shat on the floor.
“Ahhh haha ha” He then cried with joy.

The crowd moved quickly to the real true king – the baby who lived in a rubber balloon shaped like a man. I sensed it was time to leave. 

The king is a fink is available as a poster.

Check it out

Additional information

Weight8 kg
Dimensions1 × 90 × 60 cm



Acrylic on MDF Board



Year Painted