Paintings for sale
by failed artist Bert Ernie
This page features all of the available paintings
There are seperate pages for abstract, photorealist, inexpensive (up to $500) and expensive.
All prices do not include the cost of shipping.
For people who are living in Melbourne, Australia you can collect them from my home.
Please do not ask for a change in the price. If you do I will tell you to go fuck yourself.
The meaning of life
$1000. An abstract painting about the individual and their rights and responsibilities.
Fast beautiful dangerous
$1000. A photorealist painting of a Mercedes CLR racing car in the pit lane at LeMans circa 1999.
King of ego
$5000. An abstract painting which is essentially a psychological self portrait.
Dangerous dancers
$200. An abstract painting of a wild punk gig in Melbourne circa 1986.
Beautiful woman
$200. An abstract painting of an when I went out dancing, and met a lovely lady.
Despair
$250. An abstract painting of a very sad moment in my life.
September 11
$1000. An abstract painting of the horror of this infamous day.
Railway trestle bridge near Yarra Glen
$250. A photorealist painting of an wooden trestle bridge.
King of dirt
$1000. A photorealist painting of TJ Lavin performing a backflip turndown on a New York pier.
Orange flowers
$250. A photorealist painting of some orange flowers.
Expensive tools
$7500. A photorealist painting of three Makino 4-axis CNC machines in the Mugen Honda factory.
Abandoned to the wolves
$2500. Nightmarish dismemberment by a pack of wolves
Primate dancing
$200. An abstract painting of one of my previous lives.
View of Yarra Glen
$475. A photorealist landscape painting of Yarra Glen.
Boxing match
$200. An abstract painting of an when I bashed Omar the Destroyer.
Garden of Eden
$400. An abstract painting about sex and the abuse of Christians.
Self portrait as Steve Austin the six million dollar man
$2500. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the world’s first bionic man. Steve Austin will be that man. Better than he was before. Better…stronger…faster.
Bernardini
$250. A photorealist painting of a racehorse.
Field of flowers Yarra Glen 1
$2500. Field of Flowers Yarra Glen 1 is an abstract painting of a field of flowers in Yarra Glen.
Fight of the aliens 1
$600. An abstract painting of a fight to the death.
Mike King
$250. A photorealist painting of Mike King, the BMX champion, when he was boy.
The joy of listeneing to Miles Davis
$1000. An abstract painting about the joy of listening to one of the greatest musicians to have ever lived.
Siemens PLM – The conquest of bread
$7500. A photorealist painting of an image from a brochure for Siemens PLM software
Osama – The biggest arsehole on the planet
$450. A photorealist painting of a terrorist.
Fireworks over Yarra Glen
$250. An abstract painting of a wild party at Yarra Glen.
Gildemeister DMC 160 FD DuoBLOCK
$1000. A photorealist painting of a CNC machine tool.
C is for champion
$3000. Photorealist painting of Tony Rolt standing next to the 1953 Le Mans winning Jaguar C-type.
Demon
$200. An abstract painting of a very nasty woman.
Cows in a paddock at Yarra Glen
$250. A photorealist painting of a rural Australian landscape.
Bashed stabbed strangled and set on fire – self portrait
$5000. An abstract painting of a terrifying dream that I had.
Explosion in a lolly shop
$1000. An abstract painting about beautiful color.
Celebrities at a party in Yarra Glen
$1000. An abstract painting of a wild party in the town of Yarra Glen.
Deckel Maho Gildemeister
$15000. A photorealist painting of a CNC machine tool brochure.
Sunrise over Yarra Glen
$400. A landscape painting which features the sun rising over the Yarra Valley in Australia.
The joy of listening to Jimi Hendrix
$1500. An abstract painting about the music of Jimi Hendrix.
Alien jungle 2
$600. An abstract painting of strange alien creatures in a jungle.
Rave party
$200. An abstract painting of a wild dance party.
Newly made husband being told off
$1. A photorealist painting of two arseholes.
Alien jungle 1
$200. An abstract painting of an Alien Jungle.
Celebrities at a party in Greensborough
$600. An abstract painting of the wildest party of 2020.
Butterfly orgy
$2000. An abstract painting of an orgy of butterflies.
Alien landscape 2 – The power of idiots
$600. An abstract painting of a planet devastated by nuclear holocaust.
Still life with crab
$1200. A photorealist painting of a still life scene. It features a variety of fruit and vegetables, flowers and a crab.
Necronom V
$700. A photorealist copy of HR Giger’s painting.
Old woman popping a wheelie on a Kawasaki 900
$1500. An abstract painting of a crazy moment in the life of Bert Ernie.
Southern California landscape
$700. A photorealist painting of BMX racers Christophe LeVeque and John Purse.
Satan and his minions
$250. An abstract painting about the planning of the Iraq war.
Old Yarra Glen railway station
$250. Photorealist painting of an abandoned railway station.
Humans looking for love
$250. An abstract painting about drug abuse.
Greta Thunberg portrait as a butterfly
$1500. An abstract portrait painting of Swedish environmental activist Greta Thunberg.
Fog at Yarra Glen
$250. A photorealist painting of a foggy scene.
Byzantium Security
$400. A photorealist painting of New York police officers protecting a bank.
Celebrities at a party in Palm Beach
$2000. An abstract painting of a party full of the worlds elite.
Loneliness
$50. An abstract painting of my constant enemy.
Astute 1
$600. A photorealist painting of HMS Astute as it leaves her builder – BAE systems.
Murdered with an axe – self portrait
$700. A brutal self portrait.
Sea slug – Nembrotha Purpureolineata
$25. A photorealist painting of a poisonous sea slug.
Therion
$400. A photorealist painting of a metal band.
Jungle 2
$800. An abstract painting of one of my previous lives.
The orgy
$600. An abstract painting of people fucking.
Crowd of spectators at a football match
$200. An abstract painting of an Australian Rules Football match.
Suicide bomber
$2500. A photorealist painting about religious intolerance.
The most beautiful woman that ever lived
$600. An abstract painting of a beautiful woman.
The most beautiful man that ever lived
$600. An abstract painting of a beautiful man.
Lust
$200. An abstract painting about the many forms of lust.
The king is a fink
$1500. An abstract painting about the time I was arrested and then fought the king of the United States of America.
Fight of the aliens 2
$600. An abstract painting of a fight to the death.
Alien teddy bear dance party
$400. An abstract painting of the time I went to a party on another planet.