Expensive paintings for sale
by failed artist Bert Ernie
A collection of paintings both abstract and photorealistic for sale for more than $500.
All prices do not include the cost of shipping.
For people who are living in Melbourne, Australia you can collect them from my home.
Please do not ask for a change in the price. If you do I will tell you to go fuck yourself.

Self portrait as Steve Austin the six million dollar man
$2500. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the world’s first bionic man. Steve Austin will be that man. Better than he was before. Better…stronger…faster.

Abandoned to the wolves
$2500. Nightmarish dismemberment by a pack of wolves

Siemens PLM – The conquest of bread
$7500. A photorealist painting of an image from a brochure for Siemens PLM software

C is for champion
$3000. Photorealist painting of Tony Rolt standing next to the 1953 Le Mans winning Jaguar C-type.

Field of flowers Yarra Glen 1
$2500. Field of Flowers Yarra Glen 1 is an abstract painting of a field of flowers in Yarra Glen.

Deckel Maho Gildemeister
$15000. A photorealist painting of a CNC machine tool brochure.

Bashed stabbed strangled and set on fire – self portrait
$5000. An abstract painting of a terrifying dream that I had.

Greta Thunberg portrait as a butterfly
$1500. An abstract portrait painting of Swedish environmental activist Greta Thunberg.

Celebrities at a party in Greensborough
$600. An abstract painting of the wildest party of 2020.

The king is a fink
$1500. An abstract painting about the time I was arrested and then fought the king of the United States of America.

Fast beautiful dangerous
$1000. A photorealist painting of a Mercedes CLR racing car in the pit lane at LeMans circa 1999.

Astute 1
$600. A photorealist painting of HMS Astute as it leaves her builder – BAE systems.

Suicide bomber
$2500. A photorealist painting about religious intolerance.

Still life with crab
$1200. A photorealist painting of a still life scene. It features a variety of fruit and vegetables, flowers and a crab.

Gildemeister DMC 160 FD DuoBLOCK
$1000. A photorealist painting of a CNC machine tool.

Celebrities at a party in Palm Beach
$2000. An abstract painting of a party full of the worlds elite.

King of ego
$5000. An abstract painting which is essentially a psychological self portrait.

Fight of the aliens 2
$600. An abstract painting of a fight to the death.

Fight of the aliens 1
$600. An abstract painting of a fight to the death.

Jungle 2
$800. An abstract painting of one of my previous lives.

Alien landscape 2 – The power of idiots
$600. An abstract painting of a planet devastated by nuclear holocaust.

Expensive tools
$7500. A photorealist painting of three Makino 4-axis CNC machines in the Mugen Honda factory.

King of dirt
$1000. A photorealist painting of TJ Lavin performing a backflip turndown on a New York pier.

September 11
$1000. An abstract painting of the horror of this infamous day.

The joy of listeneing to Miles Davis
$1000. An abstract painting about the joy of listening to one of the greatest musicians to have ever lived.

Southern California landscape
$700. A photorealist painting of BMX racers Christophe LeVeque and John Purse.

Murdered with an axe – self portrait
$700. A brutal self portrait.

The meaning of life
$1000. An abstract painting about the individual and their rights and responsibilities.

The orgy
$600. An abstract painting of people fucking.

The most beautiful woman that ever lived
$600. An abstract painting of a beautiful woman.

The joy of listening to Jimi Hendrix
$1500. An abstract painting about the music of Jimi Hendrix.

Explosion in a lolly shop
$1000. An abstract painting about beautiful color.

The most beautiful man that ever lived
$600. An abstract painting of a beautiful man.

Alien jungle 2
$600. An abstract painting of strange alien creatures in a jungle.

Butterfly orgy
$2000. An abstract painting of an orgy of butterflies.

Celebrities at a party in Yarra Glen
$1000. An abstract painting of a wild party in the town of Yarra Glen.

Old woman popping a wheelie on a Kawasaki 900
$1500. An abstract painting of a crazy moment in the life of Bert Ernie.

Necronom V
$700. A photorealist copy of HR Giger’s painting.