Abstract painting - Beautiful woman

Title: Beautiful woman
Materials: Acrylic on MDF board
Dimensions: 36 x 29 cm
Painted: 2017

Number of hours to paint this artwork
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The story behind

Beautiful woman

September 2017 saw Bert Ernie going out to do a spot of disco dancing. He got dressed up in a pair of red velvet flared trousers, a bright purple string vest and a Stussy hat. He ventured off to the trendiest of Melbourne’s nightclubs where the doorman quickly parted the rope at the entrance to allow the most handsome man in.

Bert ventured straight onto the dance floor and proceeded to bust out some of the most spectacular dance moves seen for quite some time. Quite a few women threw admiring glances his way (and the occasional pair of women’s knickers). However, Bert only ever attended nightclubs to dance. Until this fateful night.

Delta Bedlam was the most beautiful woman the artist had ever seen, at first they danced together, and then they talked. They got on like a house on fire, and they were fascinated by the other. After some time he invited her back to his home. She agreed. When they arrived, Delta was in a state of extreme sexual arousal and threw herself at Bert. He then realized there was a misunderstanding. For Bert the essence of true love was not centered on having sex – it was on the making of art.

He disappointed Delta when he asked if he could paint her portrait balancing on one leg in red gumboots and wearing a bright red bikini while holding up a basketball.


Bert strives to create beautiful art. He wants people to see the actual painted surface as being incredibly beautiful with its dense array of colourful splotches, flicks, dabs and runs.
Secondary to that is the crazy story and image behind the work.


  • Using a paintbrush to paint a stroke, dot or line
  • Flicking paint from a loaded brush
  • Using a finger to manipulate paint already on the surface
  • Dropping a droplet of paint from a brush
  • Pouring an amount of paint into a puddle
  • Tilting the board to make wet paint run across the board
  • Adding oil based paint to acrylic paint
  • Using a syringe to squirt paint in a direction
  • Using a syringe to drop a droplet of paint
  • Using a large brush to apply paint to a large area
  • Removing half dry paint off by washing painting off with a hose
  • Removing and smudging paint with a rag
  • Using a can of spray paint

Bert’s compositional approach is very much like taking a photographic image and tearing it up into small strips, shapes, confetti like circular pieces and throwing them up into the air. Only to have them fall in a completely random manner on the board. Each piece of the torn photo occupying it’s own space, and all the pieces landing in the original image space.

Bert’s abstract paintings are just a torn imaginary photograph.

From the mind of a complete and utter lunatic.

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